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~C A N D Y B A R ~ B R O T H E L ~

Open 24-hours a day :: Over 1 Cuntrillion Served

8/19/05 09:38 pm - writinchica2k - There's a new girl in town!

Let's welcome Khrystyna* to the Candybar Brothel, shall we? A former pop princess who was tired of being a whore to the music industry...she's now content with being a plain ol' whore ;) As we can see, her outfits are truly wild and slutty to the max, and she will gladly accept payment in clean vinyl thongs. In her spare time, Khrystyna loves practing her, um, moves with her trusted microphone (super-long mike stand not pictured). She can really hit those high notes with her well-trained throat, and you won't believe where she's pierced!

*[Legal loophole]No affiliation with Christina Aguilera. We've never even heard of Christina Aguilera.[/loophole]

7/29/05 01:56 pm - drewsilla - The Simple Whores

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Well now! Look who's stopped by the Candybar Brothel! It's the "stars" of The Simple Life Paris Hilton and Nichole Richie!

Paris and Nichole, traveling with a newly accqired potbelly piggy name Porkchop, decided to film a segment of their t.v. show here at our very own brothel. In fact, they have been doing quite well here and are giving the regular girls a run for their money. The two celebs will do ANYTHING a john wants them to do--anal, animals (poor Porkchop!), orgies, and each other for the love of the money. It seems that Paris and Nichole have found their true callings in life...if the in-house girls don't cut them in their sleep, that is.

7/27/05 09:30 pm - edenette - chavette invasion

for the uninformed: what is a chavette you ask?Collapse )

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fancy a fuck?Collapse )

7/26/05 10:10 pm - rhiannonmars - Google up any whore of your dreams..


7/9/05 01:06 am - rhiannonmars - Lost in Translation

Translation: "Ahhhh, Release"

7/9/05 12:09 am - rhiannonmars - Catholic School Girls Are Easy

The Johns are lining up for a piece of the action.

7/8/05 05:20 pm - witchbabybat - Hey Y'all!

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Hi there everyone! Let's welcome our newest girl Cassie from Austin Texas! From what I could gather through her mostly unintelligible slurring is that she is a Sophomore at the University of Texas (Hook 'em!) and was here on a summer trip with her other sorority sisters.

All of her money and return ticket home got stolen after one drunken night of bliss with Juan, this totally hot guy from Mexico. . .or some other European country or something. Now her sisters have abandoned her, hoping to teach her a lesson, and her parents are too busy getting drunk at the local country club to send her money.

So now she's here at the Candybar brothel trying to earn her way back home. . .She'll only do anal sex because she is a Christian and still technically a virgin, and plans to remain that way until her wedding night thank you very much! Also, she believes that sex should be between a man and a woman, so no other girls please! (Unless you put a few more drinks in her and start to ignore her. . . then she'll start making out with the first girl she sees)

7/1/05 07:23 pm - rhiannonmars - Bamela "Lee Dee Doo Duh" Anderson

Bamela is so fashion forward with her couture Dr. Le' Susse' hat. Attention to details like this get her all the Johns. Make sure you wear a condom boys. She caught Hep. C from her last conquest. Ofcoarse, the brothel is stocked with every brand imaginable. We feature Crown brand condoms, they are like your second skin. We'll keep you protected.

Speaking of C's, I think her boobs are a C cup now. They go up and down so often, it is hard for us to keep track and keep the customers updated. They are as firm as bowling balls.

Taking up a bedroom in the video room, you can have your "love making" session taped and burned to DVD to bring home as a sovenier. We kindly ask you to sign a release form though so we won't be caught up in any legal troubles when we leak the tapes to the public.

6/19/05 03:11 pm - rhiannonmars - Baby Lester

In real life, Baby Lester is acutally Lester MacNalhaney, aged 37 years and a senior executive for the accounting firm Delloit and Tusche. His mother and father left him to fend for himself at age 3, eating apartment rats cooked on a space heater. The only affection he had was when he cuddled the fuzzy dust bunnies under his crib. Not found until age 15 by a social worker, he was still wearing washable diapers held on with rusty safety pins, washed only with the water that pooled up in the apartments basement.

Now a days it turns him on tremenously to be back in diapers, safety pins, sucking on a pacifers, bonnet tied securely to his head finished with a bow.

Opps, Baby Lester just made a doodie!!

6/19/05 01:40 pm - rhiannonmars

Candybar whores make Fifi horney.
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